


Post Mortem

by Doc_Cairo



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Feelings Jam, Gen, Post-WANTED-SPOILERS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-11-06 17:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11040783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doc_Cairo/pseuds/Doc_Cairo
Summary: Becoming a pink zombie puts some things into perspective.Certified Steven & Lars feelings jam.Spoilers for "Lars' Head"





	1. Post-Mortem

Lars’ new life as a pink zombie on another planet was more boring than it had any right to be. Once the initial shock passed, and Steven had left, things got pretty boring. Despite having lived anywhere from fifty to five thousand years, his new gem companions had remarkably dull life stories. Aside from the initial circumstance of their exile, the rest of their lives were very similar: X number of years hiding in the deserted kindergartens.

 

Still, they stayed true to their word and kept him safe. They asked him a lot about Earth. He answered all he could, and he still was amazed about how the things he took for granted in his old life were such radical concepts to them. Choosing one's job. Parents. Love.

 

With 20-20 hindsight and nothing but time, he’d been reflecting on things a lot. His previous concerns seemed trivial. He thought about the changes he would make when… if he could go back. He might be able to shape his life up. Dye his hair back and pass his skin off as a permanent sunburn. Embrace his passions without fear. Make up for the stupid things he’d done. If she could forgive him…

 

A hand shot out of his head. Still getting used to that. From his sitting position inside a large quartz-hole, he leaned to his side laying his head on the floor, as Steven rolled out with a gasp.

 

“Hi Lars!”

 

“Steven!” Lars held his arms open as the boy hugged him, his hands coming to rest on the novelty backpack he wore.

 

“How are you doing? Is everything ok?”

 

“More or less. The robonoids aren’t coming around anymore, so it's just been kinda quiet.” Lars assured him.

 

“But are YOU ok? Are you feeling hungry yet? Anything changing?”

 

“Eh… I feel like I COULD eat something, but don’t really need to…” Lars assured him, but Steven was already rummaging through the oversized burger. He drew out a small clear plastic container. Through the cloudy transparent plastic, Lars could see something purple.

 

“Uh… it’s probably not that good… I only saw you make it twice.” Steven handed him the container with the ube pastry. “Just let me know anything you want and I’ll bring it next time.” Lars smiled as he pulled the container open, finding a plastic spork tucked neatly inside. He took a bite. He grimaced a bit. “How is it?”

 

“Steven…” Lars said grimly… “... this sucks.” Steven looked shocked and horrified. And then he chuckled. And Lars joined him. They laughed for a good long minute.

 

“It's the thought that counts.” Lars assured him when they were finished. “If I can get home, I’ll teach you how to make it right.”

“WHEN you get home.” Steven asserted. The boy was far more certain about it than Lars was, but he would put on a brave face for him.

“Right… when.” Lars leaned back against the wall as things went silent again.

 

“How are things back home?” He asked, uncertain if he really wanted answers.

“Well, I let everyone know you were ok. I told the gems what happened to you and they’re just as confused as we are. Connie said it sounded like I’d made you my familiar.”

“Your what?”

“Uh… it's a book thing.” Steven deflected before recoiling himself into a ball. “They… didn’t really want me coming here right now. Said it was too dangerous.”

“Well yeah, everyone wants you dead here.”

“But I can’t just leave you alone here!”

“Uh… yeah, you can.” Lars asserted. “I’m apparently self-sustaining now. I don’t have to eat, and I don’t even get tired. I only sleep now because it's the closest thing to fun around here.”

“Hm… well that explains some things about Lion…” Steven noted. “... But I’m still not leaving you here. We’ll figure something out. And I’ll keep checking on you as much as I can.”

“Deal.” Lars told him. He was done pushing people away. “How are my parents handling it?”

 

“Not… great.” Steven admitted hesitantly. “But someone helped me talk them down. Lars waited for an elaboration that Steven was clearly holding back as he dug through the backpack. “I packed so many things for you… i think I’ll just leave you the whole bag.” He said while pulling things out to show him.

 

First came a folder full of paper and a package of pens.

“You can write to your parents and anyone else you want. Let them know you’re ok. I’ll deliver them.” Next he pulled out a plastic case with snaps, which he opened to reveal a game system.

“Dude, is that the Minvento Snap?!” Lars said excitedly. Before the abduction, he’d been saving for one from his Big Donut paycheck.

“Yeah… and every game that’s out for it.” Steven smiled. “To pass the time… oh, and Peridot put some crazy gem tech in the battery and she says it’ll last ten thousand hours.”

“Awesome.” Lars eyes shined with genuine excitement.

“There’s also some snacks and water… a couple books I thought you might like… some magazines from your room… for reasons…” Steven blushed a bit.

“Whoa, what are you?” Lars gasped.

“Lars, I’m 15 next month, I’m not that naive.” He gently tossed the backpack into Lars’ grasp. “Lets just not talk about it.” Lars nodded.

 

“I do need to go back before Pearl knows I’m gone…” Steven stood up. “I’ll try to come every day if I can. Especially tomorrow so I can get your letters. Oh, and write me a list of anything you want or need, Dad’s clearing all expenses.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.” Lars knelt down to allow Steven through the portal in his hair. “Really, for everything.”

 

“Lars… why didn’t you ask about Sadie?” Steven asked him hesitantly. Lars also hesitated to answer. The old Lars would have deflected… or made a joke… or changed the subject. The old Lars.

“Because I’m ashamed.” He said. “Of everything. The way I acted.”

“You mean on the ship?” Steven probed.  “But you were scared and I’m sure she doesn’t…”

“No Steven, that and everything before that!” He vented. “I jerked her around… I pretended like I didn’t care because being aloof was ‘cool', and I lied to her about things! And she still tolerated me even though I didn’t deserve it.” Lars felt tears well up for the first time since his transformation. “She's better off without me around.”

 

Steven didn’t say anything. He just knelt down to his level and hugged him. And they stayed that way for a while.

“Steven… do me a favor, would ya?” Lars asked.

“What?”

“Tell her I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Ok. And you can tell her yourself once you’re home too.” Lars nodded. They broke apart as Lars presented the portal again.

 

“Oh, and Steven?”

“Yeah?” The boy paused, one foot in the portal.

“Learn from my mistakes, ok?” Lars told him. “You and her… I can tell.”

“Lars…” Steven groaned sarcastically.

“Hey, how many times did you come around the Big Donut saying that kinda mushy stuff about me and Sadie?” Lars teased him. “Payback time.”

 

Steven laughed as he stepped through the rest of the way, leaving Lars alone with the backpack and it’s bounty of supplies. He reached in for the paper and pens… deciding to get started on important correspondence before the temptation to boot up the game system could overpower him. But aside from what Steven had described, he found something else in the backpack. An envelope addressed to him. In a shaky but familiar handwriting. Lars hands shook as he pondered the letter. He took a deep breath and his hands steadied.

 

New Lars. No fear.

  
He opened the letter.


	2. A Link to Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lars gets some visitors.

“Lars is about to find a heart container!”

This was uttered 10 seconds after Lonk walked away from the treasure chest. At first, Lars had been annoyed at his newfound audience. His past experiences with playing with an audience meant perpetual backseat gaming… less so with Sadie but definitely in his childhood with Ronaldo. But the off-colors were a model audience, given the very concept of “video game” was a new one to them.

He leaned his back against Fluorite, holding the Minvento Snap at arms length so that the gems huddled around him could see the screen. It had been two days since Steven’s visit, and he was already nearly twenty hours into Chronicle of Milda: Into the Wild. Before he exited the dungeon, he quickly smashed some pots, which dropped small red hearts and several green gems.

 

“Gems as currency…” Fluorite said slowly. “What a strange culture…”

“Well that's kinda just in the game.” Lars assured her. “We mostly use paper on Earth. Although that's changing to digital lately.”

“Lars, there are gems in those pots!”

“Thanks Pad.” Lars said. “Can you help me find the dungeon exit?” Lars asked her as he plotted his course with the in-game map.

“Can we try?” One of the Rutile’s asked. “Just to the exit?”

“Sure.” Lars passed it to them.

“Go straight ahead and then turn left.” Padpardscha said.

“Wait…” Rutile froze. “... did you just?”

 

“LARS!” Steven’s head burst from Lar’s hair.

“Steven!” Lars was startled.

“You might wanna lie down, I’m bringing some people with me.” Steven said before popping back in. Lars stepped away from the others and laid down on his back and waited.

“So…” Rhodonite said. “... a minute ago, did she just…”

“Steven is coming!” Padparadscha exclaimed.

“Never mind.”

 

Lars felt a tingling sensation, the same he’d felt when the portal was being used before. He’d been to distracted by the game to notice it this time, but it was definitely noticeable now. His hair glowed as the head of the first person emerged.

“You were expecting Steven…” Lars could see some brown spiky hair emerge in the periphery of his vision. “... BUT IT WAS ME, DEWEY!” The remainder of Buck Dewey slid out of Lar’s hair.

“Buck!” Lars exclaimed, and nearly bolted upright if not for the foot that quickly followed through the portal.

“Man, I have been watching Pojo’s Eclectic Journey, and I saw the opportunity, I had to take it.” Buck crawled over to Lar’s side as Sour Cream emerged in his place. “Good to see you man.” He held out his wrist for fist bumps. Lars obliged and Sour Cream let out a whoop.

“Dudddeee, you’re rave colored!”

“I… guess I am.” Lars responded. Before he could gather a coherent follow up, Padparadscha announced the arrival of the humans and another being shot out of his hair, one he didn’t recognize. A short green gem with triangular yellow hair. She quickly took in her surroundings, before focusing in on Lars.

 

“Fascinating!” She leapt to her feet and began to hover over Lar’s prone form, disregarding personal space. “So you were human, but now your metabolic process have slowed and you have abilities that bend localized space time… like the lion.” She reached down and grabbed Lars shirt and pulled it up, surprising him. “And you’re certain you haven’t manifested a gem anywhere?”

“Whoa slow the hell down!” Lars pushed Peridot away indignantly as he pulled his shirt back down. “What are you even doing?”

“Science!” Peridot reached for her gem and in a brief glow held a black metal case in her hand. She set it on the ground and opened it. “I mean, the others would never really let me experiment on Steven but since you’re functionally immortal…” She withdrew a bread-loaf sized device from the case with a what appeared to be a circular saw on the end.

“You wanna dissect me?!” Lars shouted.

“Pffft, no.” Peridot waved her hand. “You do a dissection on something that’s dead. This is a vivisection.”

“Peridot, we talked about this…” Steven emerged next, followed quickly by a slender blue gem. “... no ‘ections’ of any kind.”

“Aw… fine ya party pooper.” Peridot returned the instrument to it’s case. “We’ll work out some acceptable experiment parameters shortly.” She told Lars.

 

“Oh! Now there’s a Peridot coming!” Padparadscha said with surprise.

“What, another one?!” Peridot drew back defensively. “LAPIS! ENEMY CONTACT!” She threw her hands up in the air as the dissection device began to hover over her shoulder menacingly.

“She means you.” One of the Rutiles said, laying a hand on Peridot’s shoulder. With a startled yelp, the metal tool flew between their heads.

“Peridot, it’s ok. These are the off-color gems I told you about.” Steven assured her. Peridot did a second take of her surroundings and more closely examined the gems around them.

“Oh… wow…” Peridot paused. “You’re all… more than I expected…”

“More what?” Lapis walked up behind her.

“Defect…” Peridot mumbled and cut herself off, particularly eyeing the branching torso of Rutile. Both of her frowned.

“This Peridot is going to say something really offensive!” Padparadscha crossed her arms. A lot of gems started talking at once, and as Steven ran to mediate, Lars started to zone out. He was distracted… not by any of what had just come out of his head… but rather what hadn’t.

“Buck.” Lars grabbed his attention.

“Yeah?”

“Where’s Sadie?”

“She…”

“She couldn’t get the time off work!” Sour Cream interrupted, very intentionally cutting Buck off. There was an awkward silence between the three. “Yeah… don’t know why I thought that’d work.”

“She was gonna.” Buck assured him. “But then… she kinda ran out. Jenny went after her but…”

“Alright, thanks.” Lars stopped him as he drew his legs up against his chest. 

 

Given the contents of the letter… he could understand why she would bail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was gonna be a one shot but... ideas.
> 
> It's probably gonna get heavy. But also fluffy.
> 
> Heavy fluff.
> 
> Yeah.

**Author's Note:**

> Typed and posted entirely on mobile, formatting clean up to come later. Just needed to strike while the iron was hot.


End file.
